road trip

I think we all walk the line in the knowledge about our lives.

 My first emotion during a struggle is " How can I fix this".

I think with my flesh more than I care to admit.

 God is truly training me and I am most times slow to settle down

 in the comfort of allowing

 God to drive this road trip called my life.

 I was so very close to my maternal grandmother (Kate). In my world she knew everything,she was bigger than life.

My Mother was my hero, she gave up everything for me.

 Thankful I was even though I did not act like it always.

 These two women were the corner posts in my life.

 I had Granny till I was 38 and my Mom till I was 48.

When Mother died my road trip came to a screeching halt.

 I went way off course, my compass was broken to pieces.

 For several weeks I sat alone in my house at the table with a

 closed Bible (never good). I just stared at that Bible.

Mad and  lost in the translation of thoughts in my mind.

 The hurts in my heart overwhelmed my life.

 My actions reflected what I truly felt, LOST.

This was not a show on TV, this was happening to me in real life.

 Out of the silence a voice that surrounded me ask and I quote

 "Who do you grieve"? 

Well I knew for sure I needed medication of some sort.

 I stood to attention and walked through the house.

Who was there, who spoke to me to me?

  I was in the house alone something I knew. 

 I had not grasped that I was with out my compass.

 I was afraid to come apart at the seams.

Who would put me back together?

 I began to sob, I mean cry.

 At that very moment sitting at my table with the Bible open

 I asked for help.

 I surrendered to the Holy Spirit , the comforter he had come to help me.

 The Holy Spirit had been there with me the entire time.

 He is a gentlemen and he waited for an invitation,

 although he gave me nudge..

 I had  been drowning in the grief that was my life

 with no regard to the trip. 

 God gave me a scripture in Hebrew 12:12-13 

 "So take a new grip with your tired hands and

 strengthen your weak knees.

 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak

 and lame will not fall  but become strong."

 You see I had become that compass for my family.

 I was on a Road Trip.

 I had to make God the corner post of my life.

  I had do as my Grandmother and Mother had done:

 Lead by example.

 They were mighty women of Faith.

 In their life and deaths they had lead me to God,

 the only peacemaker in life.

I had to lead my family. I was now the compass.

 I am so thankful God reconciled my thoughts,

 my feelings and my regrets.

 I am not in bondage.

 God healed me from the inside out. 

My prayer is to be satisfied with his lead, have faith in the direction

 God takes me,

 to be comforted by the voice that says

 "Enjoy the Trip".

 Blessings

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